Unanswered Prayers

Sometimes God’s Greatest Gifts… Are Unanswered Prayers

Hello My Lovely Readers,

I know I have been quiet for a while, but I hope today’s message finds you well.

Unanswered Prayers

If you grew up in the south like I did, chances are you were raised with at least a little bit of exposure to country music.

I still remember the first time I actually paid attention to the chorus in the song “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks. My family was on the way to church and we were driving through the overlapping interstates downtown. I don’t remember how or even if it applied to me at that moment. I was no older than ten years old. But, I guess I knew that song would mean something to me for the rest of my life.

Until today, even though I have heard this song many times since then, I never knew the rest of the song, just the chorus. But, now reading the verses, it seems the song was written just for me. And it is funny too because the very first few words have been stuck in my head for the last couple weeks, but I have not, until now, been able to identify the song, other than by its author.

The words of the song tell a story of a man who, in his high school years, desired to marry a girl he loved. But he realizes, after meeting the woman again, years down the road, that God had led him to marry another for the better.

I have to say, this story speaks to me in more ways than I can retell in a single article. But while I question if I am ready to speak on this topic, a friend of mine encouraged me to, for your encouragement and, maybe my healing.

My unanswered prayers have been much like the man in Brooks’ song. Teenage love that just, wasn’t meant to be.

I’ve questioned many times, since I was separated from my first “serious” childhood crush, why God keeps taking away those who would surely be my perfect match. At least, at the time, they were perfect in my eyes.

I was counseling a friend this week, and I find that sometimes when I give advice to others, it is often advice I need myself.

“You’re only 16.” I told her. “ And sometimes, blessings come after we forget we prayed for them in the first place. Also, if we focus too much on our prayers, we can end up answering them for ourselves, and manifesting false answers that will only lead to ruin. I’m trying to learn this myself, but sometimes you just need to pray, and move on, and let God do the work, and not keep tabs on what you think He should be doing.”

I felt like a hypocrite giving this advice. But, it is true.

I recently experienced yet another unanswered prayer.

This young man and myself had given our lives, and our relationship, to God. We dedicated ourselves to Him to decide the outcome. We still wanted our picture for the future to come true, but from the very beginning we gave it to God to decide.

As you may guess, God decided it wasn’t meant to be.

I was devastated.

Yet another failed attempt at love.

Crying on my front porch, I scowled at God. “You don’t answer prayers!” I cried out in anger and despair.

While I still don’t understand why, I realize now, that was the point. He never intended to answer this prayer. No matter how much we wanted it. It wasn’t part of His plan.

I may have been hurting, but I was not justified in my anger towards God.

And perhaps I never have been.

You see, if we give something to God, if we surrender our future to Him, if we put our trust in Him, then we give God permission to write our story, and we have to relinquish all control. We have to realize that He will answer our prayers when He sees fit, in the way that He sees fit.

And that doesn’t always look like what we desire, or what we think we want.

I am living testament that hyperfixation can manifest false “answers to prayer”. While I don’t understand why God let things happen in my life, it was not by His fault that those things happened. There have been more than one occasion in my life where when considering a young man as my partner, there seemed to be signs pointing me towards him - signs that may have merely been coincidence that I only paid attention to because I was looking so hard. These signs may not have even been from God at all. But because I wanted something so bad, I found every possible thing that could be proof that it was “meant to be” and I ended up breaking my own heart on multiple occasions.

Not only did I hurt myself, but I caused myself to lose faith in God’s plan for me, all because I had taken matters into my own hands.

Another song that paints my life perfectly is “My Mind’s Made Up” by Grace Leer. Lines in the chorus “In my mind, you were mine” and “I’m getting over who my mind’s made up” tell exactly what I have had too regular a habit of doing. I meet a guy, think he’s perfect, and make up this fantasy that is only in my head. It was never in God’s plan - even though it felt perfect.

“God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers.”

What would have happened if He had answered my prayers? Would that marriage have been happy? Would it last? Would our families be at peace?

Maybe it was a blessing He didn’t answer this one, or the ones before. Perhaps He foresees things I either didn’t see or have stubbornly overlooked. Things that He wishes to protect me from, in order that I may have a future better suited for this child of God.

It still hurts.

But I don’t see the full picture.

And I know He has better plans for me.

You know, old fairy tales and nursery rhymes served to tell stories and give warnings in ways easy to communicate and understand both for those who had experience and those who hadn’t yet.

These songs, and this article, serve the same purpose.

Things don’t always go our way. With God, that is kind of the point.

Is it not the theme in the entirety of the Bible, that if we give our lives to the Most High, we will find rest in Him, He will protect us, and lead us into a land of promise?

This is not to say we will never find hardship. In fact, we are promised hardship from the world as believers.

But as for the things that we try to control, we don’t have to bring that hardship upon ourselves. We don’t have to inflict ourselves with the unnecessary burden of control over things that aren’t ours to control.

A friend of mine used to tell me all the time “stop speaking death over yourself.”

While this quote was applied to my physical health, I think any false words we speak into our lives can fall into the same, even if the words sound good. We may find ourselves speaking falsities upon ourselves that will only lead to harm, despite every intention for good.

It is not just about not answering prayers.

The only way we will ever avoid pain, hurt, sorrow, anger, and remorse, the only way to avoid our own destruction, is if we put our complete trust in the One who sees it all before we ever do. We can’t even see a minute into our future. Yet, there is One who can see the rest of our lives.

So, why not surrender all control to Him who knows what is best? To Him who sees our future as it should be? To Him who brings every blessing?

This article is as much for myself as it is for my readers.

I even told the young girl at the beginning of this article that “I have the head knowledge, but I don’t have the wisdom in action”

I’ve failed pretty much every time I have tried to put this concept of complete trust in action. At least in the realm of finding a husband.

But, there is still truth in my words.

A truth I hope may speak to someone else, before their heart gets broken like mine.

I don’t understand why God doesn’t answer some prayers and hard things happen. Part of it is because we are all human and inevitably fall short. But I do know that allowing trials is one of many ways that God uses to remind us that He is indeed in control.

Destruction will always come when mankind is in control. But good will always come if we surrender all to Him.

Message of the Day

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs

And just because He doesn’t answer, doesn’t mean He don’t care…

Some of God’s greatest gifts…

Are unanswered prayers.”

— Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks

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Yahweh bless you and keep you.

— Alexis